you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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