I am spending my child support on dildos
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
third nipple confirmed
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My bed smells like the plague
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
