Say something about gay babies.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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