her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
