guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Floor bacon is actually really good
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
