Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
