Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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