He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
