Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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