I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
And my parents said I crawled through the house
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
