I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
