last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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