oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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