listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
