new low.... made out with someone while peeing
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
