it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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