It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
