u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
