The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
