I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
