So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
