We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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