i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
