well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
