Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My vagina is very pro this idea
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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