he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
