OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
