Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Randomize
