At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I look better un-naked...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
