dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
