She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
