I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
