I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
