Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
