when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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