is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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