Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
