Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
