Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
