Midget sex pt 2 tonight
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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