Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
