Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
