Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
