I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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