thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
