pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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