the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
