Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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