elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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