my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
