when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
