So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
